void main()
do
{
Morning may start with meditation for first few days then perhaps this activity is given up as one dont feel to get up early morning.
Brushing ! Yup an essential , but some people keep it optional.
Shaving again an optional thing but many prefer doing that.
* Some activities might be missing.
A cool Bath : Oh God, Nahana padega ! Another optional activity. Many use deo instead.
Choice of clothes is best from the available wardrobe.
Full Speed se office.
Free Breakfast , Yummy (after all free hai)
Thodi chai/coffee ho jaye ( ye bhi to free hai )
Work starts with checking mails. Usually millions of FWDs and few personal friends. Only few ppl say that they get official mails (Fwds from mentors)
Ok lets login to Yahoo / Msn / ........ all possible available messengers. Time for Conferences( Group / Individual).
Parallely write code ( Replies to emails )
Ok enough , Let me start work.
Sudden appearance of Boss/ Mentor. Damm ! why he has to talk to me !
Bad luck ! sara Impression pani me behe gaya !
Sometimes frustration may result in damage to CPU / MOUSE. Such events are rare but they may happen. Right ?
Chalta hai yaar dekh lunga jaab permanent ho jaunga , Now let me work Are , shayad mail Aaaya hai. Wow cool Fwd Sahi yaar, Let me too fwd them to all.
Yuppy ! Lunch Khao kaho yummy
Lunch ho gaya ! Thodi chai bhi ho jaye. Kya yaar , kash ye smoke detectors nahi hote to kitna aacha hota.
Check mails. Why the hell people dont mail me. Or is POP3 Server down. Check settings.
Yaar immediately kaun kaam shuru kare , let me chat.
( Some popular Chat Topics :
Tell other coleague/friends "I got lot of work yaar no time to chat"
Gossips : GF / BF
Plans for weekend movie/trip
)
Ok whats new on net , any new utility/virus , any convertor for free or if not free is a crack available. I must be updated to have a topic to speak at weekend in friends.
Enough chatting and browsing , back to work.
Baas ek cup aur. Aaj chai badiya hai ( Its always taste the same )
thoda recreate ho lete hai ( TT Championship 2005 )
aab aa hi gaya huun to jym bhi chalte hai Ek se kya hoga, Let me try more (More weights more muscles)
Canteen me ek chakkar maar hi lete hai.
Oops almost end of day Now let me work ( Create printout / photocopies of already available code & documents smart ha !)
Shit man , ye clock itni slow kyu hai. If i go before time then impression will be bad and everyone will come to know the truth.
Yes ! Ho gaya time jane ka. Hurray !
Make few important phone calls and few personal calls ( Muje kaunsa bill bharna hai ) "I am free"
Day over
Spend an hour out, have Dinner and
} while( ! six months over);
return Permanent_Job;
}
Tuesday, 21 April 2009
Drunken behavior based on your Sunsign
To all drunkards... whomever it may concern
BASED ON YOUR SUNSIGNS YOUR EXPECTED BEHAVIOUR AFTER YOU GET DRUNK !!
ARIES : Drinking style Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometime sdon't know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk I sa good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you -- so long as you haven't gone and done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Gemini.
TAURUS: Drinking style Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say thatthe Bull is by any means a teetotaler -- god, no. A squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loud mouth soup, some would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.
GEMINI: Drinking style Gemini's can drink without changing their behavior much-- they're so naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard to tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion, then doing something to belie an extremely advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Gemini's possess the magic ability to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is very tricky) with several people at once. They like to order different cocktails every round -- repetition is boring -- and may create a theme (like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for their own amusement.
CANCER: Drinking style Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or an after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and insinuating themselves on VIP lists -- and, in true Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get "tired and emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated). But there's nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. Even your second-favorite Cancer will do. The sign also rules the flavor vanilla, and you'd be adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and soda.
LEO: Drinking style Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're darling -Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue -- and perhaps not with the one what rung them. But Leo's not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expects a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the next day.
VIRGO: Drinking style Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their bender. Their famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other signs, sure --but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully shellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the intellect, but there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when walloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one Virgo friend used to declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low-level of intelligence tonight." A toast to the sub genius IQ!
LIBRA: Drinking style "I'm jusht a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's jusht that I'm so damn social?" Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Frienddevice set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really work a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which can get them into all sorts of trouble --including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in the evening, flirting with every man/woman in the roomor even blacking out the night's events entirely. Oops!
SCORPIO: Drinking style Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them seethe sauce as something to savor in itself, and not asa personality-altering tool -- though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally, they're fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything -- especially what you did when you were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.
SAGITTARIUS : Drinking style In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: When buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own. Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?). They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a playground, or Cancun. Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).
CAPRICORN: Drinking style Capricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast, money-hungry and status-thirsty -- no wonder they get left off the astrological cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star: independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to please. And if they make money being themselves, who're you to quibble? But just like most rock stars, they're either totally on or totally off, and they generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after party, especially if they can hookup with a cute groupie.
AQUARIUS: Drinking style Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well(except for water, that is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an idea while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a stone. If they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however, they're too preoccupied with their duties to get combative -- and they make perfectly charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're usually capital drink-nursers. They also make the best designated drivers (if you can get them before they start raising their wrist):Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and capable of holding interesting conversations with soused strangers while sober.
PISCES : Drinking style If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a sign and an addictive personality --with Liz Taylor, Lisa Minnelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty tolerance fast. Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other hand, they're fabulously enchanting partners, whether in conversation or in crime. With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of margaritas and windup in bed together for days. The phrase "addictive personality" can be read two ways, you know. ...
BASED ON YOUR SUNSIGNS YOUR EXPECTED BEHAVIOUR AFTER YOU GET DRUNK !!
ARIES : Drinking style Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometime sdon't know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk I sa good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you -- so long as you haven't gone and done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Gemini.
TAURUS: Drinking style Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say thatthe Bull is by any means a teetotaler -- god, no. A squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loud mouth soup, some would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.
GEMINI: Drinking style Gemini's can drink without changing their behavior much-- they're so naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard to tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion, then doing something to belie an extremely advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Gemini's possess the magic ability to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is very tricky) with several people at once. They like to order different cocktails every round -- repetition is boring -- and may create a theme (like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for their own amusement.
CANCER: Drinking style Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or an after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and insinuating themselves on VIP lists -- and, in true Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get "tired and emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated). But there's nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. Even your second-favorite Cancer will do. The sign also rules the flavor vanilla, and you'd be adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and soda.
LEO: Drinking style Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're darling -Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue -- and perhaps not with the one what rung them. But Leo's not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expects a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the next day.
VIRGO: Drinking style Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their bender. Their famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other signs, sure --but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully shellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the intellect, but there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when walloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one Virgo friend used to declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low-level of intelligence tonight." A toast to the sub genius IQ!
LIBRA: Drinking style "I'm jusht a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's jusht that I'm so damn social?" Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Frienddevice set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really work a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which can get them into all sorts of trouble --including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in the evening, flirting with every man/woman in the roomor even blacking out the night's events entirely. Oops!
SCORPIO: Drinking style Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them seethe sauce as something to savor in itself, and not asa personality-altering tool -- though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally, they're fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything -- especially what you did when you were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.
SAGITTARIUS : Drinking style In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: When buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own. Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?). They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a playground, or Cancun. Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).
CAPRICORN: Drinking style Capricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast, money-hungry and status-thirsty -- no wonder they get left off the astrological cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star: independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to please. And if they make money being themselves, who're you to quibble? But just like most rock stars, they're either totally on or totally off, and they generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after party, especially if they can hookup with a cute groupie.
AQUARIUS: Drinking style Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well(except for water, that is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an idea while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a stone. If they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however, they're too preoccupied with their duties to get combative -- and they make perfectly charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're usually capital drink-nursers. They also make the best designated drivers (if you can get them before they start raising their wrist):Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and capable of holding interesting conversations with soused strangers while sober.
PISCES : Drinking style If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a sign and an addictive personality --with Liz Taylor, Lisa Minnelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty tolerance fast. Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other hand, they're fabulously enchanting partners, whether in conversation or in crime. With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of margaritas and windup in bed together for days. The phrase "addictive personality" can be read two ways, you know. ...
Letter in Locals language
A School Master from a remote rural area was transferred to a new School in Mumbai.
He reported for duty two days after actual date of joining. Consequently was asked for explanation in writing. Here he goes...
Deer sur,
'This is my first vijit to Bombai. If small small mistakes get inside my letter, I ask pardon. Stickly speaking, I wanted to join your school more fastly, but for the following reason, too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment.
The clerk rejected to give ticket. to I and my sun. I put complaint on station master. He said I to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time and at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my sun. Anyway I thanked the station master because he was responsible for getting birth of my sun.
I hope u will see my hole story and late me first time I am now ending this fastly.
May God blast you!
Thank you
He reported for duty two days after actual date of joining. Consequently was asked for explanation in writing. Here he goes...
Deer sur,
'This is my first vijit to Bombai. If small small mistakes get inside my letter, I ask pardon. Stickly speaking, I wanted to join your school more fastly, but for the following reason, too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment.
The clerk rejected to give ticket. to I and my sun. I put complaint on station master. He said I to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time and at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my sun. Anyway I thanked the station master because he was responsible for getting birth of my sun.
I hope u will see my hole story and late me first time I am now ending this fastly.
May God blast you!
Thank you
Shayari - Wah Wah !
Mangta hoon to deti nahi,
jawab meri baat ka
deti hai to khada ho jata hai,
roam roam jazbaat ka
kehta hoon usse aise na andar rakho,
yoon jawab sawal ka
Wo kehti hai, pehle tum dikhao,
Rukh apne baat ka
kal sham ko jab kar rahe the sath me,
kaam apne office ka
khul gaya achanak uske aankhon ke samne,
bhed coding logic ka
Ishara karke kehti hai pakadne do mujhko,
Cup garam coffee ka
Aur khud mera pakad leti hai..
thanda glass juice ka
sochta hoon aaj bahon me pakad ke daal hi doon,
balon me phool gulab ka
dalte hi gir jata hai,
patta patta gulab ka...
Wah Wah !!!!
jawab meri baat ka
deti hai to khada ho jata hai,
roam roam jazbaat ka
kehta hoon usse aise na andar rakho,
yoon jawab sawal ka
Wo kehti hai, pehle tum dikhao,
Rukh apne baat ka
kal sham ko jab kar rahe the sath me,
kaam apne office ka
khul gaya achanak uske aankhon ke samne,
bhed coding logic ka
Ishara karke kehti hai pakadne do mujhko,
Cup garam coffee ka
Aur khud mera pakad leti hai..
thanda glass juice ka
sochta hoon aaj bahon me pakad ke daal hi doon,
balon me phool gulab ka
dalte hi gir jata hai,
patta patta gulab ka...
Wah Wah !!!!
Monday, 20 April 2009
Malayalam Urban Dictionary
A
Adi : Sporty __Expression
Adii Sekkkae : Expressive Comment for a Beautiful Gal
Aiyyam : Not Good
Akkan : Elder Sister
Alambu Payalu : Mischievous Guy
Alavalaathi : Useless
Alimpu, Alumpu : Mess Up
Aliyan : Buddy
Alli : Pidichu
Ammachiyaane : Mother Promise
Annaakki Thannu : Cheated
Annack Vare : Deep in Throat
Annan Konni : Real Useless
Appi : Small Baby, Faeces
Arumbaatham : Finish, Samadhaanam
Asokan : Gay
Azhukka : Bad
B
Baiju : Old Man
Balraaram : Balaramapuram
Bonji Vellam : Lime Juice
Borotta : Porotta
Braal : Cat Fish
C
Chaala : Maththi
Charakakukalu : Beautiful Gals
Cheelu : Silly
Chella : Dear, A Nice Boy or a Girl
Chemala : Red
Cherayuka : Staring
Chevala : Red
Cheythu Kidathukka : Revenge Completed
Chorri : Irritating
Chwaaru : Rice
Chwara : Blood
D
Daavu : Pretending
Dappi : Small Pot
De Pode Pode : Go Away
E
Entheru : What
Entoodi : With Me, To Me
F
Faagyam : Luck
Faaratham : India
Faarya : Wife
G
Ganja Payalu : Sleepy Guy
Gavanam : Be Concerned
I
Idichu Pirithu : Strong Punch
Illoolam : In Small Quantity
Inippu : Sweet
Ithippooram : Little
J
Jaada : Self-Importance
K
Kaa Parakki : Lazy Guy
Kadassi, Kadaseelu : Last, The End
Kailanchi : Knife
Kalippu : Riot
Kanji : Weird
Kannamthiruvukalu : Mischief
Karuvaadu : Dried Fish
Kinnam : Fantastic, Small Plate
Konayadi : Making Fun
Koora : Waste
Koothara : Bad
Koothara Payalu : Ugly Boy
Kundaankadavu : Kundamon Kadavu
Kundani : Mischievous
Kuzhithurumbu : Cunny
L
Levan : He
Londe Lavide : Its Over There
M
maakri : Frog
Machaa : Dear Friend
Madakku : Meals Parcel
Manja pranthu : Mad
Mini Mol : Old Lady
Moda : Self-Importance
Moonchi : Face, Fooled
Mudukku : Narrow Road (Path), Lane
Muttam, Muttan : Gigantic
N
Niroovichu : Thought
njerippu : Awesome
Noorey : Straight
O
Odakku : To Quarrel, Block
Orakkam : Sleep
Oyfe : Wife
Oyyirae : On Top
P
Paazhu : Useless, Waste
Pallu Vili : Scolding Using Ugly Words
Panna : Bad
Payalukal : Boys
Payya Thanna : Never
Payye : Slowly
Pazham
Adi : Sporty __Expression
Adii Sekkkae : Expressive Comment for a Beautiful Gal
Aiyyam : Not Good
Akkan : Elder Sister
Alambu Payalu : Mischievous Guy
Alavalaathi : Useless
Alimpu, Alumpu : Mess Up
Aliyan : Buddy
Alli : Pidichu
Ammachiyaane : Mother Promise
Annaakki Thannu : Cheated
Annack Vare : Deep in Throat
Annan Konni : Real Useless
Appi : Small Baby, Faeces
Arumbaatham : Finish, Samadhaanam
Asokan : Gay
Azhukka : Bad
B
Baiju : Old Man
Balraaram : Balaramapuram
Bonji Vellam : Lime Juice
Borotta : Porotta
Braal : Cat Fish
C
Chaala : Maththi
Charakakukalu : Beautiful Gals
Cheelu : Silly
Chella : Dear, A Nice Boy or a Girl
Chemala : Red
Cherayuka : Staring
Chevala : Red
Cheythu Kidathukka : Revenge Completed
Chorri : Irritating
Chwaaru : Rice
Chwara : Blood
D
Daavu : Pretending
Dappi : Small Pot
De Pode Pode : Go Away
E
Entheru : What
Entoodi : With Me, To Me
F
Faagyam : Luck
Faaratham : India
Faarya : Wife
G
Ganja Payalu : Sleepy Guy
Gavanam : Be Concerned
I
Idichu Pirithu : Strong Punch
Illoolam : In Small Quantity
Inippu : Sweet
Ithippooram : Little
J
Jaada : Self-Importance
K
Kaa Parakki : Lazy Guy
Kadassi, Kadaseelu : Last, The End
Kailanchi : Knife
Kalippu : Riot
Kanji : Weird
Kannamthiruvukalu : Mischief
Karuvaadu : Dried Fish
Kinnam : Fantastic, Small Plate
Konayadi : Making Fun
Koora : Waste
Koothara : Bad
Koothara Payalu : Ugly Boy
Kundaankadavu : Kundamon Kadavu
Kundani : Mischievous
Kuzhithurumbu : Cunny
L
Levan : He
Londe Lavide : Its Over There
M
maakri : Frog
Machaa : Dear Friend
Madakku : Meals Parcel
Manja pranthu : Mad
Mini Mol : Old Lady
Moda : Self-Importance
Moonchi : Face, Fooled
Mudukku : Narrow Road (Path), Lane
Muttam, Muttan : Gigantic
N
Niroovichu : Thought
njerippu : Awesome
Noorey : Straight
O
Odakku : To Quarrel, Block
Orakkam : Sleep
Oyfe : Wife
Oyyirae : On Top
P
Paazhu : Useless, Waste
Pallu Vili : Scolding Using Ugly Words
Panna : Bad
Payalukal : Boys
Payya Thanna : Never
Payye : Slowly
Pazham
HR Recruitment
One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself."Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter.
"Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman
"Sorry, we have rules…" And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening owns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.
She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her."Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her."So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven.
Now you must choose your eternity,"The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell.
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her."I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.
"The Devil looked at her smiled and told…
Yesterday we were recruiting you, Today you are an employee !!!
"Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman
"Sorry, we have rules…" And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening owns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.
She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her."Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her."So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven.
Now you must choose your eternity,"The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell.
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her."I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.
"The Devil looked at her smiled and told…
Yesterday we were recruiting you, Today you are an employee !!!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)